The Ultimate System

Chapter 1", \"\"Come on in,\" he said.\", \"\"I'd like to learn,\" Andy replied.\", \"\"Are you mad?\"

As he made his way towards the door, a wave of anxiety washed over him. The website he had checked hadn’t included any photographs of the individual he was about to meet, as he preferred to maintain a low profile; he was aware there were only a handful of nearby casinos. Unsure of what lay ahead, he followed the directions from his MapQuest navigation, which led him into a quintessential lower-middle-class neighborhood, characterized by unkempt lawns, faded siding on most homes, and an ongoing street hockey game that took up a portion of the road.

Following the advice he had received, he opted to avoid the front entrance, instead walking up the driveway, slipping through the gate, and making his way around to the rear of the house. He knocked on the basement door lightly three times, as per the instructions given.

A stout man with large glasses opened the door. He was mostly bald on top, had thin lips, and round cheeks. He bore a striking resemblance to George Costanza from Seinfeld, albeit with a mild acne issue. Appearing slightly sweaty despite no visible exertion, he wore workout shorts that draped loosely on his frame, prompting Andy to hope that his white T-shirt, bearing a mustard stain, was sufficiently long to cover any embarrassing gaps.

He thought.

Feeling increasingly hesitant, Andy stepped into the basement bedroom, which was not at all what he had envisioned. Instead of a finished space, it was a basic basement outfitted with a makeshift workstation that looked more like a repurposed entertainment center, a bed, a television, and a nightstand. A half-eaten hot dog rested on a paper plate on the keyboard, revealing the source of the mustard stain, while on the nightstand, a bowl of cereal lay untouched for what seemed like two days. Repulsed by the state of the 'bedroom' and overwhelmed by the musty air, Andy turned to his host. \"I can return later if you're still occupied with your meal,\" he offered.

\"My dinner?\" the man, resembling Costanza, replied. \"No worries; I've already had four. I don’t need to finish this one. We should be ready to proceed pretty soon—\"

A loud creak resonated as if the old hinges had trouble moving, and a thin beam of light sliced through the basement from the staircase above. \"DAVY,\" called an elderly woman's voice. \"Davy, how many times have I told you not to leave your toothbrush on the sink? It’s revolting!\"

So, this Costanza figure still lives at home, Andy noted to himself.

\"Mom, please, calm down. Listen, the bank is breathing down our necks again. When will you pay the mortgage?\"

The indignant response from upstairs was immediate, \"When, you ask? Am I behind on payments? Oh, I see why: Where's your rent money? Do you think the basement pays for itself with heat and electricity?\"

David turned his attention to Andy. \"Do you have your lesson fee ready?\"

Reaching into his wallet, Andy extracted $150 and handed it to David. \"Here it is.\"

David began making his way up the staircase. \"Yeah, Mom, I've got it right here!\"

---

Andy considered himself fairly intelligent; while he didn't attend college, he graduated high school without much hassle and easily navigated through mechanic school. A GM Certified Mechanic for about four years, he sought some extra cash without taking on additional jobs and had heard whispers that certain casino games might be beatable.

Initially, Andy's knowledge of casino games was limited. He had maybe visited a casino once or twice, losing $20 on slots but also winning $50 on another occasion. It occurred to him that winning $50 wasn't necessarily a rare occurrence, yet he couldn't fathom how slots could be profitable for casinos if players won more frequently than they lost. That logic seemed sound to him.

Thinking back to his interest in Texas Hold 'Em, he had visited the library to check out several poker strategy books, favoring physical books over online resources. Although he was confident in reading people, the complex terminology around pot odds and probabilities often overwhelmed him. He reflected that, had it not been for the difficulty of mathematics, he might have been a solid B student.

David Landstrom shared a similar upbringing until he turned twenty. Much like Andy, he sailed through high school, but then enrolled in community college, only to drop out after one semester due to boredom. He switched jobs frequently, never lasting more than three months in one place, as he was too much of a free spirit to commit to any career. While he tried his hand at conning people, he lacked the required blend of skills, intelligence, charm, and cunning that good con artists possessed.

David's affinity for gambling was either excessive or perhaps just a sign of his disinterest in settling down—maybe a mix of both. Regardless, at thirty-seven, he found himself residing in a shabby basement, adorned in short athletic wear stained with mustard, just barely covering his backside, while the incessant drip of a leaking pipe filled the room with a persistent sound as water collected in a bowl he had positioned beneath it.

Despite his living conditions, David believed he had a brilliant plan. He had finally crafted a strategy that could turn the tables against virtually any game in a casino that typically operated with unfavorable odds, such as Craps, Roulette, Let it Ride, or particularly Baccarat. This method, which he arrogantly termed the \"Ultimate Reverse Labouchere Semi-Martingale Double-Down Streak Finder System Deluxe,\" or simply \"The Ultimate System,\" was based on a betting sequence that seemed nonsensical at first glance and even more so upon further inspection, yet he was certain it would eventually yield success.

Selling his guide online under the 'Bargain Basement' price of $49.99, Andy initially reacted with surprise when he received the manual within a standard USPS envelope. It consisted of just stapled papers, very unevenly done. Due to David's poor formatting, Andy had to remove all the staples to even attempt to read what was printed on the pages, resulting in a stack of papers that felt over-priced at $50.

Andy decided to test 'The Ultimate System' at the Triple Golden Dice online casino, starting with a $500 buy-in that was matched by another $500 deposit, giving him $1,000 in total, which he promptly lost at a speed he couldn't quite comprehend.

Feeling defeated, Andy sent David an email detailing his experience and requesting a refund for the $50 spent on the guide. David replied, insisting that the system couldn't be applied to an online casino, asserting, \"...a random number generator is not cards, and it is not dice, so how can you expect to win at a game of chance not governed by physical cards or dice?\" Frustrated, Andy found it difficult to argue against that point. Nonetheless, David's message included a suggestion that Andy could be taught the system in a 'Real Casino' for an additional charge of $150.

After realizing they lived in neighboring states, Andy took a few vacation days from work, withdrew the remainder of his gambling savings, and drove over to meet David.

---

David excused himself to go upstairs and change into his casino attire. His 'gear' turned out to be merely a red shirt instead of white, still not quite fitting enough to hide his backside, paired with what looked like the same athletic shorts he had on previously.

As they left the house, Andy felt compelled to inquire, \"If you’re such a successful gambler, and I mean this respectfully, why do you still live with your mother?\"

David's response was surprisingly logical: \"It's straightforward. I lack the funds to purchase a house outright. I could manage it, but it would deplete my gambling bankroll too much. You know, there are always fluctuations; no system guarantees a win every time. Besides, my mom intends to leave me her house eventually, meaning I'd just end up paying a mortgage on another property while her house is still available. Dealing with the market later just seems excessive.\"

Andy found his explanation fairly reasonable, which gave him a bit more confidence.

They drove Andy's vehicle to the Golden Goose Hotel and Casino because David's mother needed to borrow 'his' car for a trip to the salon. \"Yeah,\" David remarked, \"I let her use it now and then, though I'm not always sure she's fit to drive. But during the day, it should be fine.\"

Walking into the Golden Goose, the first thing David did was lead Andy to the Player's Club to claim his $20 Free Play as a new Golden Eggs Rewards Member. He advised Andy to enjoy whatever he liked with that Free Play, as the real business would commence afterward.

Selecting a Video Poker game, Andy opted to play at the $0.25 level for $1.25 per hand, which granted him sixteen rounds. Fortuitously, he hit a Four of a Kind in Jacks or Better, plus a few smaller wins, allowing him to walk away with a nice sum that exceeded the initial amount of free play.

\"The very first lesson you must understand,\" David mentioned. \"If you had only bet that complimentary play in increments of five dollars, you could have easily switched to a different machine after hitting that Four of a Kind. Did you genuinely believe you'd win a big payout after that?\"

---

David and Andy navigated towards the gaming tables in the casino. David turned to Andy and inquired, \"What amount are you planning to invest in?\"

Andy answered, \"I just covered the cost of a lesson. I'm not here to gamble; I’m here to pick up some winning strategies from you!\"

David dug his hand into his pocket and stroked the $50 bill. This was his only opportunity to turn this cash into something more, he contemplated. Reflecting on it, he realized that despite being thoroughly tired of Mac & Cheese and hot dogs (the only items his mother would get him without him contributing to the grocery costs), he needed to take a risk with the $50. He felt a familiar sense of anxiety in his stomach, a slight dizziness, a feeling that arose whenever he was about to toy with his last bit of money that could have bought him something decent to eat, yet he moved around, observing the gaming tables. I must exude confidence, he insisted to himself.

David approached the Blackjack table and stated, \"Andy, here's the deal: You’ve been playing at an online casino, which doesn’t compare to a real casino, and you’ve been handling virtual cards and dice. This method could potentially triumph over virtually any game, as long as they use real cards and genuine dice. Ignore the computer simulations that skeptics will throw at you. These simulations are also detached from reality, influenced by long-term concepts that don't reflect actual circumstances. How can anyone realistically play a billion hands in their lifetime? It's impossible. But this is the kind of trickery they use to paint you a picture of inevitable defeat.\"

David's eyes widened in realization. \"Do you get that, Andy? Do you truly comprehend that the only goal of these deceptive academics is to lead you into their despicable fabrications? For their own twisted amusement, they make you believe that what occurs over a billion hands holds significance to what happens when you play a mere few hands?\" David paused for a moment, acknowledged that the minimum bet for Blackjack that day was $10, and then continued walking. \"Look, Andy, this entire game hinges on maintaining a positive outlook. These individuals are all cynical, fixated on the House Edge as if it's the ultimate truth, and crucially, they lack belief...\"

While the minimum for Roulette was also $10, David stumbled upon a craps table that was accepting bets for $5. Andy, who had a knack for reading people, noticed that both the dealer and the stickman were visibly familiar with David and appeared to stifle groans. They're intimidated, he thought. Actually, that’s a good sign.

David placed a $5 bet on the pass line, which lost as he rolled snake eyes. He remained at the table while waiting for his turn again. Turning to Andy, he said, \"That result was expected,\" and then upped his bet to $10 along with a $2 crap check. He rolled a Four, followed by a Seven a few rolls later.

Once again, David stood by for the dice to return to him. When it was his turn to shoot, he turned to Andy, exclaiming, \"But I’m sure you’re aware that my last toss did not yield a Point-Seven-Out. Now just watch this!\"

David placed a $5 Pass Line bet along with a $1 Crap Check, with Four being the point. The remaining $27 went over to the other boxes; \"See Andy, I'm now going to either hit the point or land on a different box number. When that happens, I’ll take down my place bets. The only scenario where I stand to lose is a Point-Seven-Out, understand?\"

It had been around thirty minutes at the table by that point, as David refrained from any other bets after the first Seven-Out until it was his turn again. Rubbing his hands together, he inhaled deeply, tossed the dice, and as they soared through the air, it became increasingly obvious that one of them had been thrown too vigorously and was landing outside the table. In fact, it was so far off that it ended up on the adjacent craps table!

\"Same dice, same dice!\" David shouted. \"I let that one slip away from me, didn’t I?\" After the dealer examined the dice and the stickman nudged them back, David again rubbed his hands and blew into them. Glancing upward as if seeking divine assistance, he aimed for a low throw. The first die lightly touched the back wall and came to a halt on four, while the second die bounced back close to where David had originally thrown it, grazed a stack of chips in the field, and settled on three.

David was furious and instantly started yelling about a no-roll, arguing that the chips had disrupted the roll!

The dealer responded, \"David, how many times do we have to go over this? It doesn’t matter if the dice hit chips; they can collide with as many piles of chips as they want. The only situation where you'll call for a no-roll is if they land on a pile such that the number cannot be determined.\"

Frustrated, David strolled away from the craps table, his head bowed, almost forgetting that Andy was accompanying him — which he had.

---

When David finally acknowledged Andy’s presence again, primarily because Andy was his ride, he queried, \"Are you absolutely sure you're not going to buy in?\"

\"No,\" Andy replied, \"I’m here to learn your strategy. All I’ve picked up so far is how to place minimal bets and still lose $50.\"

\"So, do you still want to learn today, or would you rather wait for another time? I’d need to visit the ATM; I didn’t anticipate today’s lesson, or otherwise, I’d already have the funds.\"

Continued in

\"My bank is fifteen miles from here,\" David argued.

\"They have ATMs inside the casino,\" Andy pointed out.

\"And incur those fees? You really are gullible, aren’t you?\"

As they got into the car, David took Andy on a convoluted journey to reach his supposed bank. He didn’t actually possess a bank account or any cash. His only money had vanished during his previous attempt to use the other $50 Andy had given him. He still held onto the belief; he just no longer believed he actually had any money. He poured all his effort into appearing unwell, but it didn’t seem to be working.

\"Andy,\" David admitted, \"you already realize I don’t have any more money, right?\"

Andy stiffened; the last glimmer of hope that David might have something worthwhile left — something real — and hadn’t squandered what was now $700 had disappeared. \"Yes, David, I know.\"

chapter 2

\"No,\" Andy continued, \"You might think I should be mad, but really, I just feel pity for you.\"

\"I promise I’ll pay you back the two hundred,\" David offered.

\"No, you won’t,\" Andy replied. \"You’ll lose it before it even reaches me. It’s alright, I learned something as well. Perhaps you should consider Gamblers’ Anonymous instead.\"

Afterward, Andy dropped David off. David slumped down in front of his computer, feeling disheartened. He was in need of an ego boost. It was time to log onto his favorite forum, www.wizardofvegas.com, and recount how incredible his weekend had been with his strategy. At least some of them believe in me, he mused.

About the Author

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Written by: Brandon James .

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Mission146 is a devoted husband and a father of two. He often fell short of the expectations placed upon him, but was content nonetheless. Currently, Mission146 finds himself in a job that pays the bills in Ohio while engaging in enjoyments like documentaries, philosophy, and discussions about gambling. He is open to writing for payment, so if interested, create an account on WizardofVegas.com and send him a private message with your request.

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